Congested roads: A solution.
Popular introspective musical combo Radiohead have a line in one of their songs that states "when I am King you will be first against the wall". Powerful thought to the enemies of Radiohead and also an exacting tonic to the clogged road network of Great Britain.
Of course we are not encouraging a human cull, although sometimes it may seem a good idea, no this time we are thinking more along the lines of a motoring cull. Governments have actually had a go at this in the past when the UK encouraged people to scrap old cars for a generous price and in Paris, France, diesel cars made within a certain date rage are now banned from the city centre.
We believe a harder, more direct approach to reducing the road furniture. We suggest that a list is drawn up of all non-acceptable/pointless vehicles. These should be the vehicles that have no character, no soul, no purpose but that to move scenery for people as they travel from one place to another. Road Furniture. There is a television advert currently running the UK for a car called the GrandLand from Vauxhall. Despite the advert making it sound like GrandDad, what better example of a waste of effort and money by Vauxhall. It will depreciate faster than a body tied to a concrete slab in the thames, provide no satisfaction to the driver and simply clog up the arteries of the UK roads. This car is also surely identical to another awful car also from Vauxhall called the Mokka. Its a coffee with chocolate, not a car. Do not be mistaken this is not an attack on Vauxhall, it just so happens they happen to have two candidates for the cull list.
Who will be saved ? Cars who have been created with style and serve a purpose of not only transporting its passengers but providing them with an emotional experience whilst doing so. All Volvos for example, stylish, safe and modern variations are very driver focussed, they are saved. What about a German monolith ? BMW, not all entirely safe. OK most models from Munich will be saved given the driving experience they provide yet there are a few set for the scrapheap the TV charter. The X range for example X1, X3 and X6 are utterly pointless. The X5 can stay just because it upped the game on the SUV market although the 1st Generation of these cars should be culled, looking terribly dated now. Also not escaping the crusher is the new 2 series tourer. Why not get a 1 ? why does there have to be a 2 ? The Tourer fugly too, it brings the brand down in our opinion.
Most Porsches can stay but for the Macan, pointless. Ferrari are mostly OK but for the Portofino and California, just made for dentists. Skodas are safe. Renault will have to surrender the Scenic. Once the solution for the modern family it now imprisons families across the globe. Mazda have great style and provide an experience, they all can stay. Toyota? Well the Prius can stay and maybe a few others but most off the insignificant models will not be needed. Other Japanese manufacturer Nissan has the GTR which will be kept but apart from the Leaf we are struggling to see what else would be saved and most definitely not the Qashqai. The Qashqai is responsible for the raft of pointless oversize cars on our roads. Horrific car and one that needs to be stopped and removed as soon as possible. Vans and trucks will be subject to a separate charter in our new world, one which involves fire and trains.
Have fun on your next motorway slog, have a look around to see what you would let in and what you would kick out. Comment below what cars you would like to be banned from our roads or which ones you disagree with us on.
Enjoy the drive !